InsaneJournal

Saturday 12/22/07 AIM: James/Fisher

hearitbleed: Thanks for not making me go to that social thing.
jamesownsit: You're welcome.
hearitbleed: Where have you been? I was waiting for you to sign on. I need to talk to you
jamesownsit: I was out.
jamesownsit: What do you need to talk about?
hearitbleed: Well.... a lot of things. The ring, for one.
jamesownsit: You don't like it?
hearitbleed: I don't think I can keep it
jamesownsit: Why not?
hearitbleed: Because I don't think I should be in a relationship with you right now. At least, not a serious one.
jamesownsit: And why is that?
hearitbleed: Because I'm not ready. I love you, James, but I can't even keep myself together anymore. You shouldn't have to worry about me, and I shouldn't keep dragging you down and hurting you
jamesownsit: I'm going to worry about you regardless, so that's a flimsy excuse at best.
hearitbleed: There's a reason they tell addicts not to get into relationships for at least a year
hearitbleed: I have to figure shit out, figure out life without using, without acting like a complete idiot. And I can't do that while I'm worrying that I'm hurting you. And you've got Lloyd to be with now, so you won't be alone
jamesownsit: I'm not with Lloyd. Lloyd and I are over. And you don't have to worry about hurting me unless you contine with this conversation. In fact, if you'd prefer not to hurt me, then we should end it now and pretend that it never even took place.
hearitbleed: You and Lloyd are over? Why?
jamesownsit: Because there was never a "Lloyd and I" to begin with. It was just sex. It didn't mean anything.
hearitbleed: You're lying.
jamesownsit: What do you want me to say, Fisher? That I understand? That I am perfectly okay with giving you your space? That you're absolutely right? I can't say any of those things. I don't understand. I'm not okay with it. And I think you're making a big fucking mistake.
hearitbleed: What do I want you to say?
hearitbleed: I want you to tell me the truth about Lloyd.
jamesownsit: I don't know what that is.
jamesownsit: His boyfriend's back in his life. He ended it. That's all there is to say about it.
hearitbleed: Does that disappoint you? That it's over?
jamesownsit: I don't know. Yes. I guess it does.
hearitbleed: Do you need me there?
jamesownsit: I always need you.
hearitbleed: Okay. Let me grab Minerva and we'll come to you.
jamesownsit: Who's Minerva?
hearitbleed: Oh right, you two haven't met. Well, you will now.
jamesownsit: Okay.
hearitbleed: I do need to tell you something, but... I think I should in person.
jamesownsit: Well you know where I am.
hearitbleed: We'll be there soon.
hearitbleed: [away]